Welcome to Evolve with Debbie
I remember when I couldn't leave the house without diazepam in my handbag...
Panic Attacks consumed me, and affected every area of my life. That constant edgy feeling, wondering when the monster was going to come and take my breath...
All dolled up, best dress and heels on out with friends, having a good time, then... BANG out of nowhere, I can feel my breath becoming more rapid, shorter, palpitations, it feels like oxygen is dispersing from the air, I cant catch a breath... I pop a pill, crying, holding my head down feeling ashamed, I get myself somewhat together and head home. What a great night I was having. "Why is this happening to me" I hate feeling like a weak person, and that's how I felt at the time. Ashamed and weak.
The overloaded pressure of trying to hide my what felt like 'dirty secret' at work, to seem totally in control and professional became too much. Before I knew it I was off work with anxiety. Id never even heard of the word before... This was about 15 years ago, feel like that word has been in everyones mouths in some capacity. Thoughts of "Well, I can kiss that promotion goodbye!" & "everyones probably talking about me, saying there's nothing wrong with me, or worse that I'm a liability". Actually hating myself for being so pathetic! Those thoughts just made things a whole lot worse :-/
I managed to get help after a pretty lengthy wait on the NHS, I finally got a good therapist to help me!
She taught me skills to help cope, manage my breathing, manage my thoughts, and soon, I never had another panic attack again.
What I know now is that it was mindfulness and breathing techniques. I could never breathe into a paper bag, that wouldn't work for me because the ultimate fear was no oxygen and dying because I couldn't take a breath. Breathing into a paper bag seemed like cutting off more oxygen.
Becoming aware of your body, the sensations of your body so that you can slow things down and take control before things go out of control. Ive learned its so much easier to rain it in then, and so much harder when you are in full panic mode.
Whatever you are doing, take a seat, ignore everyone and everything and focus on something. Mine was sipping a glass of water, telephone would be going at work, staff asking questions, there could be bombs going off, for that moment, I just paused focused on sipping the water and out of my head.. Being in the moment, and it passed. Each time it passed I felt better and better within myself and before I knew it... I didn't even need to do that anymore. Woo hoo!
Your breath is like your spirit, its the first thing to come into your body when your born, and the last thing to leave when you cross that bridge. When your stressed and anxious, you only breathe in half the oxygen, your body and brain needs oxygen to function properly. You must learn how to breathe, oxygen is naturally calming.
Your body is made up mostly of water. When you are dehydrated, your brain doesn't function as well, you can become anxious and depressed, by dehydration alone. Drink approx 2-3 litres of water a day to keep your brain and body healthy. Have you ever noticed the absolute fear and anxiety creeping in like that girl from 'The Grudge' ready to screw up & sabotage your whole day. Dehydration :-D
I have since spent years, learning, growing and shifting my mindset. I now no longer worry about silly things, If a worry creeps in, I knock it on its head and turn it around. I have since trained in every modality in helping me on my journey through, Domestic abuse, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety & Panic Attacks (not all at the same time of course ;-)
I know what works and what doesn't. I know the quickest route to transformation because I've lived it.
Im now a Transformational Specialist, certified Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist, NLP, Reiki Master Teacher, EFT Tapping, & Cert life coach.
Im here to tell you, panic disorder and anxiety, is not a part of you, and I am proof you can have a more fulfilling life, becoming fear free, living in the moment and actually living and enjoying your life instead of this monster stealing your joy.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, if this resonates with you feel free to share your experience on the comments below.
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